At the recent BBQ gathering, I had the chance to spend some moments with both Jack and Willie, who are always happy to see you but also sad when you leave. I had to act quickly, though, since they both have a short attention span, especially with ribs being grilled nearby. The smell of the food is absolute torture for these two. You see, Jack and Willie are both dogs. My interview with them was somewhat coerced, as they expected a hidden treat for each answer.
Jack and Willie both agreed that they wanted more food and didn’t like being left alone. They both added there were times in their youth, winking at each other, of ripping trash from the can, making a mess, chewing on furniture, ripping apart bedding, shoes, hiding things, peeing and pooping on the floor, adding, and boy, does that get them mad. They didn’t see any problem with eating off the ground, sniffing another dog’s poo or junk, or investigating the local fire hydrant. They said these activities provide valuable information about other dogs visiting their neighborhood, including what those dogs are eating, drinking, rolling in, and the like.
Q -How do you both feel about today being the first day of school?
A – Willie , what’s that adding we don’t get shots there, do we? Jack, just shaking his head, said no. But I always hope they remember to bring snacks and drinks, or I will not go!
Q -No, guys, the kids are back at school, which means you will be left home all day until someone gets back!
J & W -No! We don’t like that at all. Robotic feeders and water that never give you enough. We won’t be able to go for walks to meet other friends, get hugs, or run and play in the yard or at the park, chase squirrels and birds. We have to stay inside all day long, looking outside while other dogs are having fun. You know the squirrels and birds mock us. It just isn’t fair. Yeah! Jack added, and I can’t wait to get my paws on that smart aleck cat! Jack said we really don’t like cats!
Willie – Ooh! The park has all kinds of strange animal smells. Once I got off the leash, to shouts and cheers, as you can imagine -I ran and ran as fast as I could, thinking she was “IT” …and wasn’t going to catch me. This game of tag went on almost the whole length of the trail we were supposed to be walking. Heh! Then I saw this big pile of poo, and I don’t know what this dog was eating, but it smelled so good, I just had to roll around in it; it was like really expensive cologne. Well, my owner sure didn’t think so, and she wasn’t pleased and let me know about it for days… enough already. My male owner just laughed and laughed as we both thought it was pretty funny!
Willie said she chased me through the woods, where I spotted deer, but they darted away really, really fast. We ran around trees, through grass, across a creek, and even up to other strange dogs to sniff their junk and say hello. The nerve of that Doberman Pincher owner who grabbed me until my owner got me re-leashed? Hey, that’s cheating.
Jack added I got away once -just once- and my owner wasn’t pleased at all! Willie said, Oh! I bet he was mad, adding he’s even faster than me! Jack said he doesn’t like when the kids go to school, but sometimes MiMi comes and walks me with them, and I get to meet new dogs, make new friends, and meet other potential owners in the event this gig doesn’t work out. Mimi is very friendly, and once in a while, Pop-pop joins us and drives us in his car, and we go for long walks in the park. He even takes us home to run around their house, and he sneaks me peanut butter and ice cream. Oh! I really like that. I really love Mimi and Pop-Pops house!
It was then someone yelled…Ribs are done, dinner! That abruptly ended the interview as they were off looking for scraps in a flash.
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